


badass belcher.

by jasisst00pid



Series: oh my babies! [3]
Category: Bob's Burgers (Cartoon)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), F/F, F/M, First Kiss, Food Trucks, Getting Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:28:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23980843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jasisst00pid/pseuds/jasisst00pid
Summary: Louise is nine when she meets the biggest asshole ever. Logan Berry Bush. Louise hates him. Fifteen year olds are the worst, Louise decides. She vows to never become one.
Relationships: Louise Belcher/Logan Bush
Series: oh my babies! [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1728721
Comments: 3
Kudos: 107





	badass belcher.

Louise is nine when she meets the biggest asshole ever. Logan Berry Bush. He steals her ears and she sics a biker gang on him. He works at her family’s restaurant and she fires him. She drops a cantaloupe on him and he makes her cry. She kicks his ass in a snowball fight and ends up saving his ass. Louise hates him. Fifteen year olds are the worst, Louise decides. She vows to never become one. 

At thirteen, Louise becomes a rebel. Not that she wasn’t one anyways, she’d always raise hell and didn’t plan to stop. Now though, she forfeits her bunny ears in favor of wearing her hair wild around her shoulders. Ripped jeans and band shirts become staples. She’s still the same person. Now instead of an unassuming little girl that could kick your ass, she looks like she can kick your ass. Louise though, she’s still a softie on the inside. She loves her siblings more than anything and values her few friends more than they’ll ever know. 

A car nearly hits her one day, as she’s skateboarding in front of the Wharf and she flicks off the driver. No harm no foul. That is until the car stops and someone gets out. “Four ears! You good?” An obnoxiously familiar voice shouts. Logan fucking Bush. “Worse now that I have to look at your ugly ass!” She shouts back and hears a chuckle. Logan’s nineteen now she guesses, no wonder he has his own car. Spoiled rich kid. “It’s dark out asswipe, shouldn’t be skating in all black.” Logan says and she resists throwing her board at him. “And most people wanna see, but here you are. Blinding us with your hideousness.” Louise bites back but Logan doesn’t budge. Just gets into his car and drives away. “Fuckin rich kids,” she mumbles under her breath. 

Louise is fourteen when Tina graduates high school. She tries so hard not to cry, she really does but a traitorous year slips down her cheek as she’s helping Tina pack for college. She wipes it away with a huff and sits on Tinas bed. “I’m really gonna miss you, T,” Louise says and Tina sits next to her. “I’m gonna miss you too. Who else am I gonna get nearly arrested with?” Louise chuckles at that. “Do me a favor though,” Tina starts and Louise looks up, curious. “Don’t get my boyfriend arrested,” Louise breaks out into laughter. The things people do for love. Stupid fuckin love. She hopes she’s never this gross. “No promises,” Louise says with a wink and gets back to packing. 

By sixteen, she’s the only Belcher child left. Gene ends up going to Juliard, the rotten bastard. Alex ends up going to some college in Connecticut, so it leaves just her and Zeke at the restaurant. “This place is gonna be mine some day,” she tells Zeke as they’re leaning against the counter during a particularly slow night at work. “Course it is.” Zeke agrees, drumming his fingers on the counter. Zeke’s gonna open his own place, one day. Preferably somewhere right here in Seymours Bay, he tells her as much. “This place is home, ya know?” Zeke asks and Louise agrees wholeheartedly. She couldn’t think of anywhere else she’d rather be. 

Louise’s graduation is filled with tears, not from her, but from her Dad. “All our babies are all grown up, Bobby, nothin we can do about it,” She hears her mom say from the other room as she’s packing for college. Louise has to sit down for a while after that. She’s growing up. She’s grown up. She’s starting her life. It makes her wanna puke. What if she drops out of college? What if she fails? What if she never takes over the restaurant? What if, What it she never finds love? Louise didn’t date through high school, thought it was pointless and she’d had better things to worry about. 

Louise wants somebody. It’s disgusting. She wants what her parents have, that so in love, so supportive, so incredibly stupid love. Her parents were best friends, they loved each other but they also liked each other. Louise wanted that. She wants someone that’s going to support her as much as Alex supports Gene. She wants someone as unconditionally caring as Zeke is for Tina. It’s absolutely repulsive. 

Louises first year at college is uneventful and incredibly difficult. She picks up a job at a coffee shop because she can’t afford not to and is too far from Seymour Bay to flip burgers. She knows what she wants to study surprisingly enough, most people her age hadn’t figured it out yet. But Louise has her heart set on business. Sometimes she’ll go and sit in on lectures in the older business classes, taking notes here and there, she’s always been ambitious anyways. One day, an incredibly slow day for the coffee shop, as she’s studying for her midterms the bell above the door jingles and she looks up and curses under her breath. 

Logan fucking Bush of all people shows up to her place of business. “Louise,” Logan says smugly and she puts on her best fake customer smile. “What can I get for you today?” Logan looks over the menu for a moment. “How about your number?” He asks and she scoffs. “Keep it up and you get spit coffee, Bush.” Logan smirks and orders a vanilla latte, of course he does, the fucking prissy shit. Logan decided the best way to annoy her is to sit right at the bar and stare at her as she studies. She grinds her teeth and ignores her as best she can. Louise ends up going to the back, switching with her coworker on dishes. A few minutes later, said coworker, the traitor, comes back with a napkin. “There was a cute boy at the counter, said to give this to you and asked for you to call.” Louise takes it and glares at his stupid number scrawled on it. She stuffs it in her pocket. 

Surprisingly enough she doesn’t see the blonde bane of her existence again until Christmas break, back in Seymour Bay. She’s been bored since she’d been home, that weird time between Christmas and New year always left her not knowing what to do with herself so she took up hanging out in the restaurant with her Dad. She smacks her head down into the counter when Logan walks in. "Aw, what’s the matter Louise? Not excited to see me?” Logan teases and she flicks him off as he sits right across the counter from her.

“You never called,” Logan says later as he’s eating his burger, Louise dutifully at the register, ignoring him. “Probably because I don’t fucking like you,” Louise bites out. “Louise!” Her dad scolds. “It’s just bitch ass Logan!” She yells back, her dad grumbles. “Eh, you’ll love me one day,” Logan says as he leaves a few bills on the counter. “See ya, Smellcher,” He whispers the last part and gets up to leave. She pelts him with a wet napkin. He blows her a kiss through the window, for some reason her cheeks go hot and she flicks him off in response. 

At twenty two Louise graduates from college and moves back home. She gets a small apartment and shares it with her very best friend, Rudy. Louise works at the restaurant full time and soon saves enough for a down payment on a food truck. Bobs Burgers is officially, actually going mobile. As she’s stationed out side of the Wharf one chilly summer night, she gets enough business that she decides to call it and head home. “Can I get a burger of the day?” Some guy asks and she sighs, flipping the grill back on. “Sur- No. No. Logan fuck off.” She says when she realizes who it is. “Aw cmon four ears, just want a burger,” he flashes a charming smile and she grumbles. 

“Ten bucks.” Louise bites out with a grin. Logan pushes six on the counter. “Give me your number and you get the other four,” Logan winks and she wants to punch him. “Rot in hell,” with that she turns and flips the burger. After she gives him his burger he insists on leaning against the side of the truck to eat it, grumbling she shoves open the back door and marches in front of him, arms crossed. “Get off my truck,” she demands. Logan looks her up and down and smiles. Louise knows she’s not unattractive, know she grew into her body, got catcalled enough to make it obvious. 

Louise clutched the front of his shirt and pulls him off the truck, Logan stumbles a bit. He’d finished eating his burger a while ago apparently and just steps closer to her. Logan doesn’t say anything for a minute and she backs up against the truck, Logan steps closer again. “Huh, you’re cute, four ears,” It’s almost a whisper and she grinds her teeth. “You’re repulsive,” Louise bites back and Logan huffs a laugh. “Even cuter when you’re fiesty,” Logan says and she steps on his toe before getting into her truck and driving away. Her hearts pounding in her chest and she can’t figure out why. 

Louise looks at the napkin with his number shed kept for some reason, she didn’t wanna think about it, as she’s sitting on the couch. She types out a message and hits send before she can talk herself out of it. 

_Bitch_

**_Go out with me_ **

_Choke on ur own dick_

Louise angrily shuts off her phone after that. Is he flirting with her to piss her off? Can he not find some other 28 year old with low standards? She really doesn’t know why he insists on bugging her. Louise goes to sleep that night with a million thoughts swirling in her head. 

There’s three texts on her phone when she’s checking it as she drinks coffee with Rudy the next morning. 

_**u know u like me four ears** _

_**just one date then i’ll leave you alone** _

_**give me a chance louise** _

Louise grinds her teeth again and Rudy throws an orange slice at her. “What’s up?” Rudy asks and she groans but slides the phone to him. “Who’s Bush Head?” Rudy questions so Louise tells him. Tells him about her stupid ears, and the stupid cantaloupe and the bikers and when he made her cry. “You did always like the ones that pissed you off,” Rudy says and Louise smacks his head. “Like who?!”

”Jessica for starters,” Rudy responds and Louise huffs. She’s only ever told him about her stupid useless crush on her only other friend. Stupid Jessica. Stupid Jessica that went off to stupid New York with her stupid senior year girlfriend and never talked to Louise again. Stupid Jessica who she gave her stupid virginity to. “Shut up,” but there’s no heat behind it, not really, she’s never actually mad at Rudy. Rudy gives her a knowing smile and she hits him with a pillow. Stupid Rudy and his always being right. 

_One. single. date._

_try anything and you die_

_i can kill you and never leave a trace bush_

Her phone buzzes a moment later and she groans. 

_**told ya you’d love me one day** _

Louises only reply is the middle finger emoji. They end up making plans for the upcoming Friday, Logan refuses to tell her where their going, just asks for her address and promises to pick her up. Louise hates that she’s kind of excited for it, she hides a knife in her bag. 

Logans at her door at the time he said he’d be, one stupid rose in his hand and a red button up with jeans, she pushes past him and gets into the passenger seat. “I’m only doing this so you finally fuck off,” she says when he settles into his seat next to her. The car rumbles alive as he turns the key. “Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Logan throws back, she groans. They end up going to some hole in the wall restaurant. Louise hates herself for having a good time.

Logan tells her about how his parents got divorced recently, how he works in some office building and hated it, and how he really didn’t know what he was doing. Louise makes fun of him endlessly, but tells him about her plan to take over the restaurant nonetheless. “I dunno one day it’d be nice to run the restaurant with whoever I marry. My mom and dad make it work, I think I could too,” She says offhandedly as they're walking down the street and Logan stares at her. “You wanna get married?” He asks, actually curious and she rolls her eyes. “Why, gonna laugh at me? Least I’ll actually like my job,” Louise bites back and Logan hums. 

Maybe it’s the drink she had, maybe it’s how Logan keeps looking at her, maybe it’s what Rudy said about her always liking the ones that pissed her off, but she thinks she wants to kiss him. She shoves the thought from her mind the entire ride to her place. That is until he walks her to her door and laughs as she struggles to make the key fit, damn these old locks. She finally gets the door open and turns around to Logan, giving her that look again. Before she can talk herself out of it she clutched the front of his shirt and yanks him in, and then she kisses him. “Burn in hell, Bush,” Louise says when they break apart and Logan looks dumb founded.

The next morning her phone once again is full of text notifications and she ignores them until she has a moment after she’s parked her truck. 

_**ur amazing** _

_**let me take u out again** _

_**go out with me** _

_**for real louise** _

_**i want u** _

Louise is staring down at the screen when a customer comes up to the window, then she gets a rush and forgets all about the messages until a couple hours later. 

_pick me up tomorrow_

_and don’t dress so rich we’re going bowling_

She switches her phone to silent and focuses on work the rest of the day, eventually heading back to her apartment. After she attempts to shower off the burger and grease smell off of her and she’s sitting on her bed with her laptop open she looks at her phone again. 

_**only if u don’t stain my lips black again** _

_**hard thing to explain to a bunch of boring corporate assholes** _

The next day after work, she applies an extra layer of black lipstick and even throws on some eyeliner, just to intimidate him. It’s getting cold outside at night so she opts to bring her leather jacket along, fully aware of the vibe she gives off. She hopes it makes Logan piss himself. The blonde asshole shows up at her door ten minutes early and she yells a goodbye to Rudy before she locks the door behind her. When she turns around Logan’s staring again, and she furrows her eyebrows. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer shit wad,” she says and starts walking to the car. 

“You look,” Logan starts and Louise rolls her eyes. “Hey cmon let me compliment you, you little asshole,” Logan jokes and Louise punches him arm. “Compliment me in hell,” She winks and Logan starts driving with a huff. Louise ends up getting a little hot at the bowling alley and sets her jacket down on the seats, she’s wearing a pretty form fitting tank top because it’s all that was clean. Logan looks at her for a moment and sputters himself back into reality. “Wow making you flustered is way too easy,” she says coming up behind him. “And way too fun,” Louise smacks his ass and Logan yelps in surprise. 

Logan kisses her that night, lifts her and sets her on the hood of his car. Louise feels like she’s drowning and she can finally breathe. She’s falling for him. She hates it. She’s always wanted to date someone to piss off her parents but that’s hard when your parents are accepting and supportive assholes. So, in an effort of rebellion and the fact she needed more transportation than her food truck, Louise drops 5k on a used motorcycle. She pulls up to Logan’s apartment that night, engine rumbling, and sees him peak out of the window. So, naturally she takes off her helmet and shakes out her hair. “Oh, jesus fuck,” Logan says to himself and bolts down the stairs. 

“You, Louise Belcher, are a fucking enigma,” Logan says before pulling her in for a kiss. “I try,” Louise bites out but there’s no heat behind it. When did she lose the heat in her words to him? She doesn’t know. It definitely happened. She’s actually fond of the asshole and doesn’t want to throw up at the thought. “Wanna go for a drive, pretty boy?” She asks with a smirk and holds out the extra helmet to him. Logan looks unsure but takes it anyways.

They end up sitting on the beach, knees knocking together and waves crashing against the shore. “You know Bush,” Louise starts and feels piercing blue eyes on her. “You’re not so bad after all.” Then she tugs his shirt and kisses him again. All of his shirts are gonna be stretched out in front, Logan thinks, but it’s worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> me baby self projecting into louise w the clothes and motorcycle


End file.
